Married, Without Children

June 3, 2010 • Daily Email Recap

Thanks to Alexandra Paul for this Huffington Post article.

I am childless by choice. It was a choice I made when I was a kid, after seeing the UNICEF commercials of hungry, thirsty children in crowded cities, swollen bellied with stick legs, black flies on their faces. At 9, I told my friend Susie Hollander, “I am not going to have my own kids because there are too many children in the world.” My mother said a decision made so young wasn’t informed, and that I would change my mind by 29 when my maternal urges kicked in. They didn’t. What did change in those 20 years, however, was that the human population on the planet increased by more than 1 ½ billion people.

At 32, I met the beautiful man who is now my husband, Ian. Just before we married, he and I went to counseling to resolve the one issue upon which we didn’t agree: if we had kids, he wanted a child of his own flesh and blood and I wanted to adopt. I had produced a film about overpopulation and spoken to over 6,000 Los Angeles students on the overpopulation crisis. What began as an instinct as a child was now backed by solid statistics. The world population had doubled in my lifetime. How could I be part of the problem by adding more people to the planet? Ian and I walked out of the session agreeing to have one birth child and, if we wanted more, we would adopt. It was a compromise I could live with.

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